My time has come. I have discerned that the next step for me is to come home to Dallas. Effective immediately, I will return to Dallas and find my way through the past year. I am both happy and sad to leave. I am happy because I finally said what I have been so scared of saying, “I’m ready to go home, now.” But I am genuinely sad to leave my students, here in Laredo. I ask for your prayers at this time as I discern where God is calling me next; I do not know more than I will be going home. Goodnight.

You insist upon making my bed; even though I will return to the same place again that evening.

You insist upon doing my laundry and putting it away; even though I know I will be wearing it again tomorrow.

You insist upon the use of a napkin; even though my skirt or pants will suffice.

You insist upon an early bed time; even though I know I won’t be able to sleep until later.

You insist upon an early rising; even though I can attest to a later start that makes me all the more productive… and happier.

You insist upon a clean room; even though I work better amongst clutter and mess.

Oh, formation, I love you for making me more productive and cleaner, even if I fight it. Little by little, I will back down from my own understandings and lean on yours!

A few lessons from the convent that occurred this past week.

1. When ironing a polyester skirt, turn down the iron, even if the first pleat ironed nicely on the “cotton” setting.
2. Meet at the car at 7:15 am means be there at 7:13 am. The car pulls out at 7:15 am, not like you thought that it left at 7:17 am, of course this is only if you want to hear crystal clear Spanish, versus slurred, chanted, Spanish.
3. Walk the long way around when ditching prayer, otherwise Sr. Superior will cut off your escape route–even if the other sisters said they already said the Rosary. You blew your cover that you were already in the chapel…
4. Don’t assume all the nuns know the Salve Regina, simply because they’re nuns, and only memorize the first line of the song. Otherwise you’ll find out you’re not the only one who doesn’t know the Salve Regina.
5. Don’t play contemporary, non-Christian, music on the chapel CD player… other sisters like to pray, even if you’re cleaning the chapel.

But alas, I just realized I learned all these lesson… TODAY. So really, the first sentence should say lessons I’ve learned today. Overall, I think it was a great day. I laughed about my skirt, rejoiced that it wasn’t my Sunday skirt, and just horribly sang my through the Salve Regina as well as I could.

So I’m officially a teacher… in my eyes. I will have my first day of a “start in August” school-year, beginning tomorrow. Do I have rules for my class typed up? Nope! Do I have a syllabus typed up? Nope! Do I have anything what-so-ever that I promised typed up? Nope! But there’s plenty of hope left!

See, since I live here, these things are tiny insignificant details in the teaching world. I have unlimited access to the copying machine, YES! I live where I work, so 3 am is not abnormal for a start of the day!

One might ask his/herself, what has Amy been doing that has kept her from completing these important rites of passage into the teaching world… Well, for one, I’ve been breathing, sleeping, and reading. I know, to you it may sound lazy, but to me it’s enjoying my last bit of summer before the REAL fun begins! I’m quite proud of my summer reading list:

1. Handle With Care
2. Sideways
3. Nineteen Minutes
4. Picture Perfect
5. Confessions of a Shopaholic
6. Shopaholic Takes Manhattan
7. Same Kind of Different As Me
8. Tomcat in Love

And while I wish there were 2 more, because I like evenly rounded numbers, I still look at that list and stand in awe of all I’ve accomplished reading this summer. But like I said, school starts tomorrow, and with it means weekly lesson plans for 7 different classes… YUP seven! I was one of the lucky teachers chosen to be a 5th-8th grade teacher. I will still be teaching Science in Laredo at Mary Help; I am BEYOND excited! Because even though those things which I promised have yet to materialize on my beautiful new Macbook… they’re in MY head, and will be instituted by ME, ALL YEAR LONG!! There’s a bit of excitement with being able to be the teach from August-May; I set the rules from the beginning.

Other EXCITING news is I’m back in formation! w00t! I will be taking classes 5 nights a week (hence the sleeping and breathing exercises…) from 7:45pm-9:15pm Monday through Friday. Now, these are pre-aspirant classes, which I am a bit bummed about, but they are classes none-the-less which means, formal formation continues, which means, if all goes well, GOD-WILLING I can petition for Postulancy sooner. If these classes fail to attain my much coveted position of Postulancy, I will reapply for the aspirantate after the completion of my time in Laredo. I will not set a date for completion in Laredo… this is my goal for the year, to not put time limits on God’s Will. I hope I can keep my goal. I will however evaluate myself and my year (together with my formator and provincial) in the Spring of 2010, but for now it’s classes I’m taking towards formation and classes I’ll be giving towards the betterment of the science academia of my wonderful students.

If I’ve lost you with all the names of my journey, here’s a clue. They’re just fancy nicknames for “nun-in-training.” Except Formator–she’s the one teaching my classes–and Provincial–she’s the one in charge of our province (think of it as the AL West, or NFC East or any other division or region that includes Texas, California, Arizona, and Colorado… and Louisiana, but she’s a tricky one because she’s part of both provinces) Louisiana is the Los Angeles of the Salesian sisters. If you don’t know I mean, just look at the two LA baseball teams.

This summer I spent at camp. It was great! I had loads of fun… minus the hospital run! I swear, I’ve been the hospital more times in the past six months than I have in the past 10 years! It’s amazing to me! Coming back from camp, I find myself singing camp songs. Earlier today I was dancing the Flamenco dance we learned; I lost track of what day it was because I didn’t have the nightly reminders of camp fires, talent shows, movie nights, bbq’s, party nights, and scavenger hunts. I’m still in la-la land over the weather. I optimistically keep my jacket on the back of my chair hoping one to wear it again… WHEN WILL THE 100 DEGREE WEATHER CHANGE?! Darn that Laredo heat, I didn’t know hot until NOW. Camp really was an amazing experience that I loved quite a bit.

I recently went home for a short, and I mean SHORT visit. I realized how much I enjoy my brothers… we had a great time at my Tia and Tio’s 50th Wedding Anniversary. I’ve become sentimental over family pictures, everywhere we go, “PLEASE, let’s take a family photo, we don’t have any of us!” Followed by, “just mom and dad; wait, just the boys; wait just the kids… wait” and then someone inevitably walking away not wanting anymore pictures. I really miss my brothers, but it’s mostly because we’ve spent the better part of the past five years scattered all over the US and we’re all finally settling down; it’s great to hang with them!

I started another list that deal with convent life… I find them funny, but we’ll see…
Reasons for joy in the Convent:

1. Surfing the channels for a non-reality show is no longer a problem
2. Being hit on by anyone is easily fought off by, “I’m engaged to Jesus.”
3. Have tan lines? No problem! You’re always in”habited.”
4. Bad Haircuts are covered by a veil
5. No longer a need to have a “swimsuit” body during swimsuit season!
6. Your outfit ALWAYS matches!
7. Broken mirrors are bad luck, right? Well, there aren’t many mirrors around for you to break!

There are others, but they’ve been censored by the internet police!

I look forward to this year, it’ll be a great one! Now if only I could re-train myself for 4:45am wake up calls… I succeeded 5/5 days last week. (Weekends don’t count!, plus we get to sleep an EXTRA TWO HOURS!, but I usually forgo any waking up to catch up on my lack of weekly sleep). Here’s to the new year! and Finished lesson plans for the next three weeks!

Well, it has been a few months since I last updated this site. As many of you know I moved to Laredo in January… and the whirlwind began. I found it very difficult to keep my feet on the ground, much less to write. 

When I arrived in Laredo at Mary Help of Christians School, I had no idea what my life would entail. There were a few open positions, many of which did not interest me. I decided upon being the Health Teacher for middle school–babies scared me too much. (I know, huge shocker!) Well, on my first day a sub was needed in the science classroom. Of course, I obliged; they didn’t know where to put me just yet anyways. (Middle School Health is only on certain days and it wasn’t on Wednesday.) Long story short: the kids thought I was cool; I explained kinetic and potential energy;I was the new science teacher. So I began as the middle school science teacher to 150 wonderful students. 

This semester has been filled with stress, migraines, tears, but much more joy, laughter, and fun than I could ever experience. I love being a teacher. I love having my students. I do not have any bad students. I know, you’re rolling your eyes, but what I mean is my kids are not bad kids; they may be mischievous, but they make good choices in life and I don’t have to worry too much about them. All of these kids are extremely helpful with whatever I could ask. The last week and a half was moving day for many teachers, and my lovely homeroom put up with all my requests to help the teachers move… and go through my own mess of a lab closet! 

While I was in Laredo, I was able to see my family a few times. One fun time was mom’s 50th birthday. I was able to fly home and throw her a surprise birthday party. Both mom and Barbie turned 50 this year, so we decorated the party in Barbie Princess decorations. Mom was truly surprised to find out the real reason for both grandma and mine’s visit to Carrollton. We were scared mom wasn’t going to make it, but in the last few minutes, with the help of my Aunt Cheery mom made it to the restaurant. 

Throughout the past four months I have gained much needed experience for teaching. At the end of the four months I was left with the decision to continue my formation and return to California or continue teaching. For me, and my debt, I chose to continue on teaching. I will stay on in Laredo, teaching middle school science (5th-8th grade) for the next year. I will re-evaluate my situation again in another year as to whether I will continue formation or stay in Laredo. As of right now, I am still an aspirant with the Salesian Sisters; my position does not change. However, when I do decide to return to formal formation, that is when the four years needed to prepare myself for vows will begin. As for right now, I am a permanent aspirant… which isn’t a horrible thing, many of the sisters were aspirants for many years before the entered postulancy and novitiate. 

My situation is very different in Laredo than it was in Bellflower. I live alone, separate from the sisters, in the old Convent. I have my own bedroom, bathroom, and laundry room. My bedroom is spacious and wonderful. I have a computer and refrigerator in my room. My wake-up time depends on my level of tiredness, normally between 5:00am and 7:00am. I know it is a large span, but some days I am too exhausted to make it to prayer. At 7:30 I report to traffic duty every morning. I funnel traffic into two different lanes. We have good-morning thoughts until 8:05, then I take my homeroom to the classroom. I am the homeroom teacher of 7A. We start science class as soon as they have packed for their morning classes. I have four classes of science in the morning, 50 minutes a piece, of 7th and 8th grade. After lunchtime I have my last two classes of 6th grade. They are a rambunctious crowd… extremely hyper because they just were re-energized after lunch. Three days a week, once school is out, I have duty as well. I make sure the kids get into the proper cars. My school day usually ends around 4:30pm. We have prayer at 5:15 until about 6:05 and followed by dinner. By 8:00pm, we are done and I either go back to my room or back to work. It really depends on how much work I need to have done. And the day starts over again! My day is filled with many activities. Weekends are spent catching up on grading papers and entering grades.

Overall, I have learned valuable lessons for teaching next year. I am excited to start planning next year. I have a few ideas for changes, and a nice grant will help finance said changes. Teaching the entire time will give the kids a chance for a better year, because my rules will be established from the beginning–that tends to be a problem because I didn’t set the rules from the beginning. I will expect less out of my younger grades–I forget that they are just now becoming self-reliant and responsible. 

Kids love jumping rope. I love jumping rope. I need better shoes for jumping rope. I hope to re-learn double dutch so I can teach the girls; but single-rope jumping is ever popular. Kids also love dunk-tanks. I had an accident with a dunk tank. I slipped and bruised my tailbone. I spent the night in the hospital, but we raised a lot of money for our scholarships! I don’t think I’ll be on the dunk tank for next year’s fundraiser. I try playing basketball with the boys, but they’re brutal… and fast! So mostly I ref their games when Mr. Nolen–Literature teacher–cannot ref the games. 

I’ve enjoyed myself this past four months. I am on a home-visit for right now. I received three weeks of a visit before I am to report to San Jose, CA for summer camp. I will be helping at our summer camp in Corralitos, CA for a month before traveling back to Laredo for teacher in-services and the exciting first vows of one of the novices I know. Time will fly–I can attest to how fast it has flown since moving to Laredo. I look forward to whatever is next.

My dearests friends and loved ones–
As we come to a close fo the Christmas season, and after the Feast of the Epiphany, I am reminded of the Three Kings, The Magi. They follow the star over Bethelehem in order to find Jesus. When I began this journey almost two years ago, my motivation was the love of the youth and my urge to lead them closer to Christ. What I failed to realize was my own personal need to become closer to Christ. As I walk with God and search for Him more and more I find myself following a star that leads me to Jesus. That star is over Laredo, TX for the time being.
After prayer and discernment I have found myself in need for more time to know Jesus for myself. Normally this would not be a problem for the sisters–they are forever willing to grant each young woman however much time she needs to fully listen to God’s call. However, over the past four years as I went throught college, I took on loans to finance my education. The amount is quite large, so in order for myself to discern longer I asked the sisters’ permission to live within a community while working at one of their schools to pay back some of my educational debt.
While in Laredo I will continue my discernment of the religious life, living the religious life as closely as I am able while teaching at the 3 year old through 8th grade school. I am not sure what I will be teaching or waht capacity I will be involved in at the school, I just know I will be a paid teacher at Mary Help of Christians School. I will continue listening to God’s call to the religious life and in what capacity He wants me to serve him. The “rules and regulations” will be similar to my life in California, ie. early mornings, prayer, daily eucharist, and limited phone, internet and travel access.
I am quite saddened to leave California for I have fallen in love with the girls I live with, the students I teach, and the sisters I learn from. My leaving has little to do with my unhappiness but mostly because of my need for more time to discern God’s voice in my life. One of the priest’s here always mentions to take time each day and ask God, “What are you asking of me?” God is asking me to take more time to listen to His voice in order to find Him and become the best me.
I will be leaving California on Jan. 19 and travel by air to San Antonio, TX. From San Antonio, I will travel to Laredo and begin within the school the very next day. My mailing address will change, and will be as follows:
Mary Help of Christians Convent
10 East Del Mar Boulevard
Laredo, Texas 78041
My email and cell phone will remain the same. I do not know what God has in store for me once I arrive in Laredo, but I trust that I will find Him more clearly within Laredo. I trust in Him, to let His will be done. I ask for your prayers during this time of transition, as I am very scared to leave what has become familiar and comforting.
United in prayer,
Amy

Italians like their coffee in the afternoons. I would assume it’s because they can better stay awake after waking up between the ungodly hours of 4am-6am. Yes, three months later those hours are still ungodly; the sun isn’t even up yet! I had coffee this afternoon, and am very much awake right now; I can’t even imagine taking a nap right now!

I’m listening to an Italian Podcast right now. I’m bound an determined to learn Italian. It may very well kill me, and I’ll probably be going between Spanish and Italian, but doggoneit, I will be trilingual! So far the only things that have stood out are: “Ho fame” [I'm hungry] and “Sono stanca” [I'm tired]. It’s gone over the days of the weeks, months, numbers, seasons, and many other things but I have not quite been paying as much attention as I’d normally.

So this past weekend was exhilarating! We went to the Huntington Botanical Gardens. It was 120 acres of beautiful gardens. There were all different kinds of gardens…

I started that blog about two weeks ago and never got back to it, so I believe I’ll leave it as it is and start a new one.

Lessons I forgot:
If you have the Priest bless your fish hoping the fish will live longer, try not to shock the fish with holy water!

Don’t nervously laugh when Br. Al says, “Of course none of you have private stashes of food under your bed.”… but be comforted that almost everyone else in the room nervously laughed.

The lesson we learned today:
When mopping the floor, and three other areas in the same vicinity need to be mopped, stagger mopping. Otherwise you’ll find your trapped in your area, or walking around barefoot trying not to make a mess!

Things I love about being here:
1. Sneaking out to get milkshakes…granted we didn’t sneak out, we said we were going on a walk but did not specify where
2. Dancing to salsa music in the living room.
3. Receiving packages in the mail.
4. Constantly feeling like I’m going to be in trouble, but realizing we’re adults and don’t get in trouble in the same ways as before.
5. Speaking spanish, even when I confuse avión for bird…

Tomorrow we’re going to Huntington Gardens. Yay! Our outing of the month! It’s an exciting day for us! I hope to take many pictures, and write a detailed blog about what all went  down. Exciting news for me however, I was appointed choir director of the School Liturgy’s. YAY! I get to sing in the choir and teach the young girls at school how to sing. I’m a little nervous, but I shall prevail…and if all else fails, I can sing the mass!

1. To have eggs in the morning, you only need chickens. You do not need roosters, because chickens lay their eggs regardless!

2. Before decorating, lay out everything on the floor, do not cut it, and ask the advice of at least three sisters…otherwise you decorate multiple times.

3. When you are taught to use hospital corners with your sheets, use them; otherwise your “guardian angel” will casually point out your misuse of hospital corners by leaving your comforter off the bed.

4. When staying out late, past the time you were supposed to come back to the Formation house, do not choose to sleep late the next morning…especially if the Priest catches you out late and mentions it the next morning during the homily you decided to sleep through.

5. When speaking Spanish to people, make sure you know the word for plane and bird. Because saying there is an “avión” in the ceiling is VERY different than saying there is a “pájaro” in the ceiling.

6. When visiting a mission, and taking pictures every two minutes, bring extra batteries!

7. Regardless of the location, 60 degrees is still too cold for flip flops!

8. Kids remember your promises, if you say you’ll be outside on Wednesday and don’t show up, the kids will remind you of your broken promise on Thursday.

9. Everyone loves skittles, even kids.

10. Put your name on your toiletries. Someone might think they’re communal and accidently use all your bodywash, leaving you wondering how much bodywash do you consume in one shower.

Some of you have been wondering, where is Amy? She hasn’t written in almost TWO weeks, I know, I know. I am quite horrible at this writing thing. But alas, I have an update or two to bring to your morning coffee, lunch break, or light reading before bed!

These past two weeks have been somewhat busy. My last writing was the week prior to the Postulants Medal Ceremony. As an aspirant (that’s what I am), we receive our Aspirancy medals in August. The second year girls, termed Postulants, receive their medals in October. So, god willing, next October I will receive my Postulant Medal. Postulancy actually starts formation, the first year, termed Aspirancy, is basically a come-and-see year. In May ’09 I will petetion for entrance into the Postulancy, god willing. (I only say god willing because I do not know what He has in store for me). The week prior to the ceremony was like running around like a chicken with my head cut off. It started on Thursday, we had a large dinner that someone won in a raffle–to eat dinner with the sisters. Since the Postulant Ceremony was the following Sunday, we decided to decorate somewhat for the Postulant Ceremony on Thursday, and finish the decorating on Saturday evening/Sunday morning. All was good and fine, I would have liked to have a 3-D vineyard–the theme of the ceremony was, “It was not you who me, but I who chose you”–but it just didn’t quite work out. That made me a bit frustrated, because in my head it would have worked, but in reality it just didn’t work the way I wanted it to. I settled for a 2D Vineyard, which wasn’t half bad! There was a bit of miscommunication and tension going on, and by 2pm, I was done decorating, and wanted to leave the convent ASAP. Needless to say, I ate lunch by myself because attitudes were in abundance, mine probably more than everyone’s combined…

Following the dinner, which was wildly successful, and the decorations were complimented quite a bit, we began preparing for the Ceremony. On Saturday night around 7:30, I began decorating the remainder of the dining room. The Sisters are rather picky about the adhesive needed to adhere pictures and decorations to the wall…so I found out. I just figured scotch tape would do the trick–which is did. I stayed up with Sr. Phoung and my roommate Joo Yun until about 10:30 finishing the decorations. The next morning, I was kindly told that all the decorations would need to be re-adhered because I had used scotch tape. Needless to say, I was a little peeved. Alas, the decorations were re-adhered with a putty like substance…that two weeks lated had adhered to the walls making it rather difficult to detach from the wall. (I could have told them this putty would not be a good adhesive…)

The ceremony went off with a small glitch…the chapel was not opened, which caused many of the girls to panic, but alas! it was opened in time to practice the ceremony one time through. The ceremony was beautiful, and the food afterwards was delicious. We had Cuban food,  yummy!

The week prior to the ceremony we were let out of many of our classes, so the following week we were catching up on all the missed classes. I had my first test on Mother Mazzarello, our co-foundress. I will find out on Tuesday how well I did. I think I did well, but you never know… In Italian we are learning more and more each day. We have learned the verb Essere, which is ‘to be,’ right now all I can do do is talk about myself…Io sono. The vocabulary will come soon! We have a “self-science” class taught by one of the priests, Fr. Jack Gibson, SDB. We watched Seabiscuit the past two classes, and will now discuss the movie in our next class. Catechesism class has been a bit boring. We’ve been on the same chapter for THREE weeks now, and I’m really ready to move forward.

We had a busy Sunday which is why I was unable to call/write. Wednesday, Oct. 15 is the birthday of our Formator and Animator (Mother Hen). It also happens to be her baptism day and her name day. October 15 is the feast day of St. Teresa of Avila, who our Sr. Teresa is named after, and when she was born, in those days in Italy, children were baptized on the same day they were born.  Well, on Wednesdays we have class with Sr. Mary Greenan who comes down from Berekley to teach us about the Salesian Spirituality, so we’re in class all morning and then in the afternoon half of us go to the food pantry run by the Sisters of East LA called Pan de Vida. So, very few people will be around to celebrate Sr. Teresa’s birthday and we decided to celebrate her birthday on Sunday prior to instead. We had a LARGE Italian feast, with this incredible beef, pasta, and other dishes whose names’ I cannot recall. It was DELICIOUS! Of course there was decorating involved, but I casually excused myself when I saw that people were using tape… After dinner, we had a treasure hunt where Sr. Teresa searched all over the convent for her gifts, and then opened each one. It was so much fun, but a really exhaustingly long day!

Today was fun too! On Mondays we have Intercongregational Noviate (ICN). It is a class that meets once a week, of many different religious orders for all kinds of topics. Today was California Mission Day. In celebration of that we visited San Juan Capistrano mission. It was sooooooooo beautiful. At one point, I looked at one of the girls and said, “If I ever discern out, I’d get married here!” She laughed because she was thinking the same thing! This mission was so beautiful. We had a guide, but I really didn’t care to listen because the place was just so beautiful. My camera of course died part way through it, but alas! I had my phone, and as soon as I figure out how to upload pictures from my phone I will add those too.

Overall it’s been quite a busy few weeks. All last week I think I went to bed at 8:00 almost every night! I was just exhausted! So this week has begun, not much is in store other than the mission trip. Send letters! I love reading them, and I try to write back always! Hope ya’ll are having a wonderful day, and I look forward to seeing you all at Christmas time!